Adversity?

“I do not ask for a lighter burden but broader shoulders” Jewish proverb.

Winniey Mutheu Photo by rarepixel Inc. 

“We do not describe the world we see; we see the world we describe'' Rene Descartes. These were the words that welcomed us to our usual reflective weekend at the old man’s getaway home. It had been a brilliant Saturday morning and we had undeniably been experiencing a tranquil and serene environment. We had spent hours walking by the coastline as the sun gleamed at the dry sand kissed by the water, appearing like an earth rainbow. The iridescent colours kept us reflecting on life’s experiences and how it needs both sun and rain metaphorically to create a rainbow we call life.

The long walks by numerous coconut trees that formed a prodigious pattern presented an opportunity for us to share various experiences. Jafari who was always chatty, clever, friendly and easy-going, had developed a shell that he always found comfort in the past few months. After a period of introspection, he shared with us the most thought-provoking experiences. He had lost his job a few months before our visit, his family expectations of the provision were mounting on his shoulders, unpaid loans, he could not bear the thought of not living his financial achievement goals, he found it hard to keep up with half of his social circle and this had frustrated him. He tried to establish an imminent solution, instead, he ended up losing at every attempt; he was young, growing weary and weak as the days went by. He turned to liquor to keep his problems at bay and every day swallowed a pill to get him through the night. He was fighting, but the young warrior was losing it all and had been contemplating suicide.

Fayola, one who always walked with honour, shedding tears at the sound of Jafari’s voice expressed her undoubted sympathy. She went ahead in a pool of emotions to share her relatable story. She was a vibrant, warm, bubbly and thoughtful soul. There was a fine line between her good and tough days. It was almost impossible to tell because of her bubbly nature. In her words, “I always wished and admired brides in every single wedding I attended. I was sure, mine was next in line. Last month, I received the most heartbreaking call of my lifetime. My long-term relationship and engagement had come to end, after all, we invested… I can’t get past the thought. The mounting family expectations; to top it up, my sister received divorce papers last week. She has not been able to bear a child for the last five years and her husband’s family pressured him to result in this. He had also started abusing her and she has been going through stress, depression, and anxiety. My business hasn’t been faring well, I have had to make some of the employees redundant. Life is complex, we wish to get married while others are walking out of it, some willingly quit their jobs while others are laid off against their wish. It’s almost that the cosmos is against me. I have become complacent and I almost believe there are generational curses or some type of curse in operation. My life will never seem to be the star I always believed will shine brighter with all these happening”.

These stories sank deeper and nobody said a thing till we entered the house with various paintings which complemented the antique furniture. The old man was holding one of the most prestigious and expensive pieces with a portrait of Napoleon Hill. He read the words that accompanied his lavish piece, “Every adversity, every failure, every heartache carries with it the seed of an equal or greater benefit. In 1849, the world was graced to have an innovator; Milo C. Jones was born in a family that practised dairy, grain, and stock farming. Lucky man, he must have been, to be in business at such an early century. Growing up, he joined his father in the production of cheese. They lived on an average income. Jones’ incorporated the growth of pigs that were slaughtered three times every year.

At 35, the most unpredictable thing happened. Jones was faced with the greatest adversity of humankind. The adversity that would have stopped many from living. He was stricken with double paralysis, which deprived his body of functioning except for his brain. In the most unprecedented time, he took possession of his mind. Out of his mind came the idea of converting pig meat into little pig sausages. This idea led to great fortune and a company that would run for over 104 years. He had not discovered this, in his prior condition when his body functioned wholly. This was great adversity that would have steered him, to the self-pity highways, hold pity parties and quit on life. He instead took hold of the most powerful tool embedded in every human and came up with a life-changing idea. He could identify the seed of equivalent benefit amidst his adversity”.

What a beautiful story that is based on real-life experience, we thought to ourselves. We all face our share of adversity. We wish to give up all the dreams and aspirations we once had. Within every single event that unfolds, we are required to cultivate the culture of living the present; as we live through that season, the art of winning or learning should be at play within our deepest contemplations. Through them, we could find strength like one of the most admired birds, the eagle. We can choose to mount wings and soar or succumb to the storm.

Aren whose name traditionally refers to an eagle broke the silence with his remarks. “In times of adversity, I celebrate. This is because I have mastered the art of the warrior. I’m the hunter and not the hunted”. Echoing the words of Seneca, he stated, “throw me to a pack of wolves and I will return leading the pack”. He was always philosophical, and we all expected a classical stoic thought.

Amina had been silently listening, a believer who always brought in a ray of positivity finally shared her thoughts. She shared that the greatest strength that enables her to persevere tough times is always derived from her spiritual teaching “Thanking God in times of adversity turns burdens to blessings. A positive mental attitude has always helped warriors win the war. The bible tells me, we are hard-pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed (2 Corinthians 4:8-9).  So through it all, I always know I will emerge stronger and soar like an eagle”.

In my own reflections, I concluded that a flower that blooms and blossoms amidst adversity is worth admiration. Show me a healthy man and I will show you a victorious warrior. I understood that taking a step back to reflect on the happenings, finding the seed of an equivalent or greater benefit is important. No manual exists on how to get to the peak of our mountain amidst adversity, rather through conscious introspection, evaluation, faith, belief, courage, willingness to learn incorporated with virtuous virtues, we can still pursue our dreams regardless of the adversity at hand.

In your own thought, take time as we cross over to a new year, think through the adversities you have faced and how you handled each one of them. Assess the blessing in disguise because there will always be one. Find your strength and carry on. Feel appreciated and celebrated because you’re still alive and seeking ways to keep developing yourself, so you are still strategizing, mastering and perfecting your art of winning. Remember to invest in yourself that the shoulders will be broad enough when adversity strikes.