Love Assassin

Rain falls like God's own poetry, each drop a solitary letter in an aeon-long melody. Music has always drawn me in ways that I cannot fully understand. Despite the stress in my life, I can find peace when I hear the pitter-patter of raindrops falling from gloomy skies. wonderful rain. Every single drop served as a reminder of the burgeoning, incredibly life-giving love I had for my darling. Every rhythm reminded me of the lyrics he sang to me every evening as we began our adventure as a couple: "If you were my girl, I'd take you across the world, take you places you've never been before, so give me your hand. I'm giving you my word. I promise I will be loving you forever and ever." I was never afraid of the rain because, in his arms, I was home. Like the cloud forming in the sky and the soil preparing for the arrival of new life, my spirit stirred to give him a jolt of energy that was far superior to any synthetic drug. I fell in love with rain because each droplet evoked a memory engraved in our psyche.

Tonight, I lay beside him, anticipating our anniversary. Unlike other years, this time we opted to spend it at a couple's retreat. The weight of gravity seemed to be finally catching up with us, despite all that we had experienced. The lapse of time and space was hypothetically and metaphorically steering our romantic wheels. He had fallen in love with my tranquil and unflappable personality, and I had admired his outspokenness. Like any other couple, we were cautious enough to ensure that we never lost our sizzling, passionate relationship. To gain insight into the dynamics of long-term relationships, we arranged to meet with long-married couples.

Tonight, I thought back on the one event that prompted this retreat. Montez and I had made the decision to meet Chacha and Cheche, a married couple of 30 years. On the way home, I couldn't stop thinking about how in tune the pair seemed to be with one another; how Chacha looked at Cheche without prompting whenever she made a comment; how he touched her at random; and how passionately in love they appeared to be with one another. With every gaze, they sparked a desire that flamed through their eyes. Montez cut off my thoughts, "Did you notice how lovely that couple was?" "Yeah," I replied, though not with my usual beaming smile. He was unimpressed and asked, "Yeah, what do you mean by just yeah?" "Honey, I'm a little wound up. Can we discuss this later?" I asked with ambivalence. "Later? It is always later for you. " Montez murmured mockingly.

Along the highway, not a single person spoke to one another. At a certain moment, we were persuaded to listen to the eloquence of silence. We made it back to our apartment, and all I needed was the room's expansiveness to take in the room's floral scents and get back into my groove. However, Montez would not let me off the hook and kept picking at me with his nitpicks and disdain. I chastised him for being immature and unreasonable; I tried covering my ears with soft pillows, but he didn't grasp it. The guest room was my only option. This was a realistic representation of an impending catastrophe. His soul was drifting slowly north, and mine was drifting south.

Through the creamy brown veil, the blazing star in the sky sent out its rays, casting a golden glow in the daylight. I had never seen a room with so much furniture and so many hues. It was dimly lit and rustic, with colourful throw pillows and tables conveniently placed next to each chair. The walls told a story of their own, with an approximate equivalent number of paintings and photographs. 
DeMarco and Ayida, seated next to us, had been married for three years. Just like every other love story, theirs was special in its own way. As soon as they discovered their original love story had changed, they decided to go to the couple's retreat. Not only did we need to repair our relationships, but our institutions also yearned for nutritious food in the same way that we did.

Dawit and Bimini had been married for 56 years. They frequently had individual conversations with young, middle-aged, and elderly couples. Normally, the beach would have been the best option, but in the rainy months, they chose to welcome couples to their peaceful home near the Afro-Arabic Rift Valley.

"How do you still look into her eyes and still appreciate the qualities you fell in love with?" DeMarco enquired with enthusiasm. Dawit said, "Bimini is a serene soul that I love very much. However, our tale isn't unique from yours. After hearing your tales, I couldn't help but invite you to this place. One thing did seem to be consistent in your accounts, though. "One?!" I queried. "Yes! One! self-justification. You believe that you are competent, and then you defend your position. For example, Montez, you say that your fiancée suffers from avoidance and quiet syndrome. You are confident that you are a good, outspoken fiancé and that the growing distance you are experiencing is the result of her unwillingness to interact. You defend your position by arguing that she is constantly fatigued.

She believes she is a superior individual because she treats you with respect, is loyal to you, and is entirely devoted to ensuring the institution's success. She, on the other hand, feels that you're immature and push her too hard, and your snarky words make her feel ashamed. When a person is attacked for who they are (rather than what they did), they experience profound feelings of guilt and helplessness. They have the desire to flee and hide, but sadly, no one can avoid being embarrassed and feeling desolate. One psychologist suggested that shame's primary objectives are to score, humiliate, and injure rather than attempt to address the issue. Shaming triggers ferocious and rekindled self-justification efforts.

If your fiancée here, in rewriting the eventful night that left you empty, had taken into deep consideration your interest and thrill in discussing the few details witnessed during Chacha and Chehe's date, the night would have been different. The evening might have gone differently if you had shown her empathy and made an effort to understand what had caused her exhaustion.

Contempt is a strong predictor of divorce and separation; it is the result of self-justification, which is a renowned love assassin. Bimini is a little laid back, and when we married, we took on responsibilities that we felt comfortable with. It was all roses until certain occurrences began to occur repeatedly. Every time there was a confrontation to be made, whether, for defective gadgets or items, she was always passive, and I had to do the grunt work. I started to think that this was unjust and that the duty beam was out of balance. I wanted to throw in the towel. When I confronted her, she... Bimini interrupted him and took over the conversation. She remained motionless the entire time, watching and attentively listening while her husband exuded knowledge. " I told him that was always me, and he knew it before we got married. We became aware that our resoluteness was being strengthened by our fury. Like artist models, a masterpiece on an empty canvas so did we seek to craft our marriage story. You are aware that as anger burns, it leaves behind bitterness and disdain. Eventually, I did an internal assessment and listened to my husband. I ultimately enrolled in assertiveness training and discovered several strategies to defend myself. We managed to get around that in some ways, and as a result, our relationship became stronger and happier.

If one is unaware of what is wrong, it is challenging to change. A relationship will eventually wither if the core participants are not aware of this assassin. Despite the universal need to be heard, the vast majority of us merely listen without actually paying attention. We promote self-justification at every level of our existence; we allow ego to be a part of the pie, and before we realize it, the forces are producing the largest chasm. Like DeMarco and Agida, the love story we loved to share changes. The narrative alienates the energy and optimism surrounding it. It almost feels like an error, and the focus changes to blaming the other person.

As we come to the close of today's session, you've discovered that self-justification has been dragging you down. You've seen how it manifests and learned how to deal with it. Remember that only non-drifters and optimistic thinkers acquire wisdom through time. Concentrate on gradually bettering yourself; learn to acknowledge mistakes and apologize. Develop mutual understanding and sympathy. Increase your awareness, since only then will you feel more alive. Have a desire for in-depth comprehension, learning, and improvement. Duly cultivate the culture of desired habits, for all habits begin with some form of definite desire." She concluded with vigour. This was indeed the beginning of a lifelong love letter for our generation, I thought to myself as I exchanged a hypnotic yet contemplative gaze with my beloved. "We are not perfect; we learn from our mistakes, but we are all willing to be better; you will become mine, and I will become yours; I will always choose you," he said delightfully.